Many authors have written widely on the subject of success, with different definitions as to what success means to different people. Some define success as the accumulation of material things- cars, houses, jewelry and the likes. Others define success as the achievement of one’s goals and dreams. Strictly speaking ‘success’ is a rather subjective definition- based on different perspectives, situations and journeys in life.
According to the Oxford definition of success- it is defined as the accomplishment of an aim or purpose; the attainment of fame, wealth or social status or a person or things that achieves desired aims or attains fame, wealth etc.
Our society plays a significant role in defining what success is and more often than not, their definition of success comes with stereotypes, a degree of comparison and pressure. To elaborate on what I mean- our society defines one as successful when they have attained a Bachelors degree from a recognized institution; employed by a popular employer; drives a certain brand of car and has a LSM( Living Standard Measure) of between 7-10. The very same communities are quick to dismiss anyone else who does not live up to these norms- classifying them as failures, rebels and unruly.
For those who have attempted to live up to these norms; they face immerse comparison. Our parents compare us to our neighbor’s children and their degree of achievement and further compare us with our siblings. They compare the degrees attained; where they are attained from and the jobs and salaries we earn.
Why is that?
It is every parents dream to see their children succeed and become respectable members of society. I believe it brings them fulfillment and a sense of “success”- the kind of fulfillment that they’ve achieved their mission in life. Our societies too would love to see their communities prosper and thrive- with their children learned and accomplished.
Can we really blame society for sometimes being harsh on us should we not live up to these norms?
No, we cannot. It is our duty to craft our own success- to craft a future for ourselves and for our country. We cannot blame our parents for wanting the best for us, even if it means they constantly compare us. We cannot blame our communities for reprimanding us for “failing’” to live up to the expected norm- what we can do however, is to establish our own definition of success.
I believe that success is a journey that each one of us travels; each with its special challenges; each a very unique journey. I also believe that we are all responsible for becoming Masters of our own success stories; authors of our own destinies and artists of our life’s master piece.
The art of crafting one’s success is dependent on the crafter of that story- in this case you. It is up to you to set a pace for your success- to set the aims of what you want to achieve in your own life. It is a process that requires you to actively participate in your own life. Set your goals that you want to accomplish in your own life- be it education, career development or being a contribution in your family. Actively pursue the goals you’ve set for yourself- constantly working hard to make them a reality.
A journey of success would be incomplete without obstacles and setbacks; so prepare yourself to face different hardships in your pursuit of success. There will be failures- challenges and moments when you feel like quitting. All these are part and parcel of the pursuit of success- your definition of success. What matters is how you respond to the setbacks.
Stephen Covey wrote in his book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, that you cannot control things that are beyond your control, so do not waste time focusing on those things, instead focus on your inner circle – the circle of influence- the things you can control and influence. So spend time focusing on the things you have direct control over and making them great. An author wrote that “success is a journey and not a destination.” With this said- you must continually embark on a journey of crafting your success- developing yourself; your career and your relationships.
My definition of success and yours might not necessarily be the same. But it is up to you to find your definition. I consider success as constantly overcoming my setbacks, achieving the different goals I set for myself- seeing my career develop and my relationship with different stakeholders grow and prosper. I define success as the journey I am undertaking each morning and each year- growing, learning and making a contribution to our society.
What is your definition of success?
“Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something. Not even me. You got a dream- you gotta protect it. When people can’t do something themselves, they gonna tell you that you can’t do it. You want something, go get it period” ( Will Smith- Pursuit of Happyness film”
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