I find it frustrating that we are often dismissed by society and then they have the audacity to call us the ‘lost generation.’ What our parents fail to understand, is that our generation is not like theirs. We are the twitter and Facebook generation- a generation that relies heavily on expressing our opinion. We are the generation of “ITunes” and “To – do list”- a generation that schedules dates with friends, lovers and other activities- meticulously I must add.
The reason I am constantly at war with my parents and society is their lack of listening. They hear me but they do not listen to what I have to say- my thoughts; goals or plans. They assume that they know what is best for me without asking what I think. They schedule plans without consulting me or asking if I will be able to do it- they decide what is best without my input. More often than not, they just waltz into my room each morning- give me a detailed list of tasks I must do and when I must do them. Why they couldn’t give me the list the night before baffles me. This way, I can include the tasks in my “to- do list” and still have time for my own tasks.
Parents often wonder why we rebel and act in ways they cannot understand – they then blame it our moral decay and the ‘lost generation’. They often ask why we deliberately break rules and throw tantrums. We have a voice- so do not just hear but actually listen. We have a brain- do not treat us like robots and issue commands- engage our minds and see our potential. We have opinions and ideas- do not dismiss us, listen and consider our suggestions.According to Susie Michelle Cortright, here are 10 Tips to Effective & Active Listening Skills you can learn and share with your parents. Cortright writes and says “Listening skills fuel our social, emotional and professional success, and studies have proven that listening is a skill we can learn.” Cortright goes on and lists tips on how to listen effectively as listed below
1. Face the speaker- sit up straight or lean forward slightly to show you attentiveness through body language.
2. Maintain eye contact, to the degree that you all remain comfortable.
3. Minimize external distractions. Turn off the TV- Put down your books or magazines and ask the speaker and other listeners to do the same.
4. Respond Appropriately to show that you understand. Murmur (“uh-huh” and um-hmm” and nod). Raise your eyebrows. Say words such as “Really”, Interesting as well as a more direct prompts: What did you do then? And what did she say?
5. Focus solely on what the speaker is saying. Try not to think about what you are going to say next. The conversation will follow a logic flow after the speaker makes her point.
6. Minimize internal distractions. If your own thoughts keep horning in, simply let them go and continuously refocus your attention on the speaker, as much as you would during meditation.
7. Keep an open mind. Wait until the speaker is finished before deciding that you disagree. Try not to make assumptions about what the speaker is thinking.
8. Avoid letting the speaker know you handled a similar situation. Unless they specifically ask for advice, assume they just need to talk it out.
9. Even if the speaker is launching a complaint against you, wait until they finish to defend yourself. The speaker will feel as though their point had been made. They won’t feel the need to repeat it, and you’ll know the whole argument before you respond. Research shows that, on average, we can hear four times faster than we can speak, so we have the ability to sort ideas as they come in... And be ready for more to come.
10. Engage yourself. Ask questions for clarification, but once again, wait until the speaker has finished. That way, you won’t interrupt their train of thought. After you ask questions, paraphrase their point to make sure you didn’t misunderstand. Start with: “So you’re saying...” (iamnext.com:powerchange.com/students/people/listen)
We are not the ‘lost generation’- we are a different generation. Show us respect and we will value yours. Talk to us and understand us and we will be tweet more favourable things about you. Hear us and we will cooperate and help in making life more pleasant.
